Things You Learn In Your First Year At Ag College
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Arriving without parental supervision may make you feel independent, but it proves a pain when you have to carry two suitcases and a trunk up three flights of stairs.
You’ll struggle to recognise the people you befriended on social media in real life, resulting in various degrees of awkwardness.
Within the first week you will realise that no matter how wild your Gap Yah, it will not prepare you for freshers’ week.
Your Gap Yah will look boring compared to those of others.
You can put away Vogue- the style rules here are a little different.
It is amazing what can be taken inside a hall of residence. GCSE Physics did not prepare you for this.
You are not the only terrible driver.
It is impossible to keep anything secret.
There is no smoke without fire.
Sometimes the best way to bond with someone is to laugh at their hideously inappropriate stories. ESPECIALLY if these stories feature goblins.
The work is actually easier than A-levels….
Sometimes it’s quite useful to use the library. Or at least to know where it is.
As a general rule freshers and postgrads don’t go. It ends in tears.
Champagne cures most things.
Except freshers’ flu. Nothing cures that.
Hang your milk in a plastic bag out of your window.
You are going to be cold 99.9% of the time. Buy a hot water bottle.
There will be nights that you can’t quite remember. Don’t worry, its unlikely you did anything embarrassing.
A large portion of your wardrobe is going to be taken over by fancy dress.
Your first year will always be better than anyone else’s first year.
There are friends that put you to bed when you’re drunk, and friends that take photos of you when you’re drunk. Ideally you need both.
Never do anything in public that you don’t want your older brother to see on “Who pulled who”.
You will know more than you want to know about the reproductive habits of livestock. Unless you’re on RELM, then you probably just know how to dodge inheritance tax.
Ag college is better than any place your schoolfriends’ are studying.
AND remember… By second year you will start sentences with “When I was a fresher…” Basically when you were a fresher you were harder, wilder, better looking and could handle your drink to a standard that today’s freshers could never manage.