27 Things That Happen When You Own An Ex- Racehorse

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1. Everyone expects you to fall off. A lot.

2. Sometimes you do fall off.

3. Other riders get incredibly smug if their horse happens to overtake yours.

4. You are amazed by how slow other horses are.

5. Your horse firmly believes that hunting and group hacks are some sort of interesting new race. "Staying behind the Field Master" is an exciting challenge.

6. Your horse knows that he is superior to all other horses. He demonstrates this with passive aggressive (and sometimes just aggressive) tendencies.

7. SHETLAND. WHAT IS THAT???!!!! Sometimes the same goes for small children's ponies

.8. Traffic  is not a problem. However road markings are all terrifying subterranean beasts that WILL eat you.

9. Why walk when you can canter?

10. Your ex- Flat racehorse will be bewildered by coloured poles.

11. You smile smugly as your horse eagerly loads, while others coax in their steeds.

12. You possess a dizzying array of rugs- thick ones for winter, a sheet to prevent rain scald, a sheet to fight flies, a medium weight for autumnal nights, a Newmarket for travelling, a Thermatex for cooling off....

13. You have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the causes of lameness and can spot a foot abscess a mile off.

14. You have your farrier, vet and physiotherapist on speed dial.

15. Other riders are always surprised when your ex- racehorse is well- behaved.

16. You have Googled all your horses's close relatives and know their racing and breeding successes.

17. You have a print out of your horse's racing history.

18. Your horse always looks smart, regardless of how dirty he is.

19. You rank getting your horse to work in an outline as one of your Top Ten achievements, ahead of that A* in GCSE Art and Design and a smidgen behind pulling the man of your dreams.

20. You know that your horse will be unperturbed by things that terrify other horses- but will leap in the air at the sight of a particularly orange leaf.

21. Seeing a video of your horse racing.... Wow.

22. Every time you see your horse's ex-trainer/jockey/brother racing you comment on it.

23. Your ex- racer likes being indoors. When he gets wet he shakes, especially if there are people watching and he can start rumours about animal cruelty.

24. The winter is a season you attribute to jogging around roads, going sideways and being towed in from the turnout area. Because while your horse has energy that needs to be expended, he would rather not do that in a cold muddy field.

25. When first purchased your horse didn't really do trot. Now its his favourite pace.

26. You spend years trying different feeds and supplements with no response as your bemoan your horse's protruding ribs. Your horse will then suddenly put on weight and you'll describe him as "fat".

27. Despite the problems associated with owning an ex- racehorse, you shudder at the thought of riding anything else.