Things That Happen at Every May Ball
Be prepared.
11046780_10153287229960833_9029906946079326834_n
1. Campus becomes eerily quiet a few days before the ball as half the female population decamps to town for a spray tan.
2. Porters Lodge is FULL of asos parcels and frantically ordered themed bow ties.
3. The marquee goes up and everyone gets an e-mail reminding them that it is not to be entered because dangerous.
4. Someone gets wasted at pre- drinks and doesn't even make the ball.
5. Some freshers go down when the ball officially opens and are really scared because there is NOONE there.
6. Old Boys and Girls come back and immediately state that it was better and wilder in their day.
7. Someone tries to scale the pole in the marquee.
8. A few girls turn up in dresses that are way too tight and far too short.
9. Someone wears a meringue (in first year this was me, and it was yellow).
10. A boy turns up in chinos or something and somehow gets in.
11. People can be seen having a DMC.
12. You have a DMC with someone you've never met before.
13. By midnight there is a huge queue at the hog roast as everyone is suddenly ravenous.
14. You really, really want to stroke the drug spaniel but are a bit afraid that it will mistake your perfume for weed vapour.
15. A fresher ends up in bed before eleven.
16. Someone gets so drunk they have to go to the medical area.
17. Cheeky nap before survivors' photo.
18. Girls wear boy's DJs and bow ties.
19. Someone tries to smoke a cigar like a cigarette and massively fails at life.
20. Someone cries.
21. One person like, OWNS the dance floor. They are however looking so dangerous that no-one will go near them.
22. "Oooh I'll be really grown-up and sophisticated and have a cocktail" SIX POUNDS??? No, lets stick to the cheap wine.
23. The white wine is so disgusting you can feel it stripping your throat.
24. Its even worse on the way back up...
25. People queue and then awkwardly pose for the official photographs.
26. "I'm so going to make Survivors." 2am- "Going home."
27. The next day people are still in black tie and not because they're doing the walk of shame/stride of pride.
28. That awkward moment when someone from Harper turns up.
29. Those people who go out on the Saturday night? Heroes.